| by Sol Lagunas | 1 comment

Dedicated to the One I Love

For Valentine’s Day I wanted to do something special! This blog is entirely dedicated to the One I Love!

Ladies, I don’t think we give our men or life partners, enough credit for all the hard work they put in. Often times it is overshadowed by the sleepless nights, the frustrating mornings, and the endless tasks throughout the day!

The ONE

Honestly, I stopped believing “The One,” existed until I met Rodrigo! After so many upside down relationships and even after becoming a single parent I decided to “try,” again.

We Just ‘Clicked’

Saying we clicked is actually not the best word to describe the vibe we would get from one another. We began as co-workers and turned into lifelong friends. The energy between us was out of this world, we would finish each others sentences and had so much in common. At this point we were just friends.

Finally after not making it “too” obvious we decided to take our friendship to the next level. May 29, 2015 we made it official! Everyone knew, regardless of our “professional” behavior in the work setting.

All was not perfect. Our families gave us some push back because of the backgrounds we were coming from. I had one child and he had two. Not everyone approved of the relationship but that changed quickly!

Fast-Forward

3yrs Later & Counting..

We continue to finish each others sentences, we continue to have many things in common. We have created a relationship that puts God ahead of everything we do and we make it work like that.

No, these three years have not been perfect and actually they have been extremely hard at times. I am not perfect and Rodrigo knows he is not either, but we are perfect for one another.

The love we have for each other and our family has kept our bond strong and practically unbreakable.

3 Kids Later

Our kids have tested the limits of our relationship as well as our parenting. I often get asked how I make raising three kids seem like a piece of cake. It is just that, “making it seem,” because it is not.

I give Rodrigo about 99% of the credit, I have zero patience with my children believe it or not. I love them all and they know that but the minute they start making messes I draw the line. Rodrigo in the other hand has the patience of a saint. He laughs at them while I pull my hair out. Now you see why we are perfect for each other.

We do have two daughters that are not living with us. They are Rodrigo’s daughters from previous relationships. Regardless if they are living with us or not he continues to be an amazing dad to both of them. That is admirable!

He is my rock, he is the consistency I’ve searched for and the life partner I dreamt of.

Dad to Elyanna

As I mentioned earlier I was a single parent. When Ely was 16 months I introduced her to Rodrigo. Immediately we both fell in love with him. I fell in love, seeing how much he cared for her and she fell in love with the way he treated her.

I believe that it can be difficult to raise a child that is not your own for various reasons. But Rodrigo never saw Ely as if she was not his. He saw her like one of his kids. That made him a keeper in my eyes.

That is what Rodrigo is to Elyanna, her dad. I never made her call him dad or enforced the term father on her. On her own she started calling her dad and seeing him as a father.

Rodrigo Iván Jr.

I love seeing how Rodrigo interacts with our son. The support I received from him the moment we found out our son had Down Syndrome was amazing.

If you read my previous blog you know I cried a lot and guess what!? My honey was right there with me, talking me out of my emotions and wiping my tears away.

How We Make It Work

Communication

Feelings are hurt through words left unspoken. What does that mean? Speak up! You cannot expect someone to move the direction you want them to if you don’t tell them what direction to go.

This was tough! I always thought about how I would react to certain conversations or expressions. But I realized, regardless of how much Rodrigo and I are alike, he is not me. The way he reacts to things is so much different than how I react.

This helped me to communicate better with him. In turn it made it easy for him to communicate with me. Especially when it is regarding a subject that needs to be spoken of like financials, family and intimacy.

Communication is key to a successful relationship and marriage. Never be afraid to speak up.

Religion

This is a huge part of our relationship. We have learned thru experiences and hardships that putting God first keeps our souls at peace.

At the beginning we struggled a lot! Soon we realized we needed to make a change in our lives that would help salvage our relationship. That change was God, Church and Prayer.

The benefit of this change reflected on our relationship immediately. We were much happier and much at peace with ourselves. Not only did it help our relationship but now it helps us to cope with the struggles and situations that have come up since our son was born.

We do not go to church regularly, we used to. But we have not felt stronger more devoted to God than we are now. Although going to church makes us feel a thousand times better.

Making Time

We find the time to make up the time lost from each other. We get lost in translation with the children, work, doctor appointments and many more tasks.

We have a date night once a month and if we get lucky we can do it twice a month. We made this a commitment to one another when we welcomed our daughter Camilla. I call it a mental health day!

We use this night or day to keep up with one another. We live together but we don’t always know the details of each other’s days. We have a lot going on and we may forget to mention the highlights of our week at times.

Truly necessary! We even feel the anxiety rise up when it’s time for another date night.

Not Fighting

So maybe this is not realistic. Is it possible to not fight? Yes. We are living proof of that. We have had our silent treatments or more like I have but we have yet to have an argument that lead to a fight.

It was not like this in the beginning and it took a lot of me to adopt this habit. But it is totally worth it. We never argue over dumb things like.. leaving the toilet seat up or not washing clothes. It happens and the jobs get done.

If something makes me upset I take a time out. When I’m ready to discuss why I am upset then we communicate. If something is bothering us we pray for comfort and re-assurance that everything will be fine. Most of the times it’s me.

Thankful Beyond Words

Rodrigo if you read this I just want you to know that I am very thankful for you! I want to thank you for being an amazing parent and a caring and loving life partner.

All the work you put into this family does not go unnoticed. What made me fall in love with you in the beginning still makes me love you even more. You are a caring father to all your kids, you are a considerate partner in all situations and above all you show the love you have for us every day.

THANK YOU! I LOVE YOU!

Living our Best Lives

Again, I don’t think I give you enough credit, I hope you can see I appreciate you. Everything you do is not taken for granted. I look forward to walk this path alongside you for the rest of our lives.

Thank you for being you and thank you for accepting me for me. I love you to the moon and back!

Dedicated to YOU, the ONE I love!

1 Comment

5 Self-Care Habits: For Mothers of a Child with Down Syndrome – The Love Of My Life Has Trisomy 21

Aug 8, 2019, 12:40 pm Reply

[…] me tell you, this is life changing. Right when we start feeling overwhelmed with parental duties, date night comes to the rescue. Remember it is not always about the children. Who came first? Your partner […]

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