You Are Having A BOY… Finally!
One girl, two girls, three girls, four girls… That’s how many daughters I have. It is a man’s dream to have a son, but after having four girls all hopes seemed lost. I just thought it would be impossible for me to make a boy.
Surrounded by Women
As you guys know, from reading my girlfriends blogs, I have two girls from previous relationships and she has a girl of her own. Then a year and a half into dating we had our first child together, and yes it was the fourth girl.
After having Camilla, Sol and I decided to stop having kids for some time, that was the reason why she decided to be on birth control. We decided that we were going to wait a couple years and consider having another child after that.
Wait, Did You Say Boy?
WELL January 5th 2018 we found out we were going to have a baby BOY!!! Finally! Honestly the day we went for the ultrasound to find out the sex of the baby, and they announced we were having a boy, I didn’t believe it. Even though the ultrasound showed it was a boy I was in shocked and told my self I was not going to get to happy until I saw a boy in person. It was too unreal to hear that I made a boy, that I was finally going to be a father to a baby boy.
After the news we received, Sol and I made the decision that we were no longer having any kids. Our boy was going to be our last child. I honest to God did not want my girlfriend to get litigation (tubes tied). So her and I decided that I would get a vasectomy, which is what I wanted and thought it would be best.
May 23rd 2018 was the day he came to this world. Rodrigo Ivan Almazan III. My fathers name is Rodrigo and my name is Rodrigo Jr. so I wanted to keep that name going. Hopefully when my son has children and if he has a boy he will continue the Rod legacy name.
He Doesn’t Look Normal
After having the best, last and first most amazing birth (water birth) of all time I heard the biggest scream come out Sol’s mouth. She had finally pushed the baby out. Right away the Midwife and nurse made me hold the baby skin to skin.
As I stared at him with tears in my face I realized that he didn’t look like my other children. I just kept staring at him but wondering why he looked different. I honestly just thought ok maybe because he was just born. Let me keep it real all kids don’t look the cutest when they first come out. So that was my thought, I said ok maybe in a couple of days he will look better or “normal”.
About 45 min later when the Midwife did his evaluation. She told us to take him to the pediatrician right away and to mention, to the doctor, that she sees some traits of Down Syndrome in our baby boy. My world came crashing down. A billion thoughts came to my head. When the Midwife said that, it answered my question of why he looked the way he did.
The next thing was oh my God is he going to be ok? Omg why did I get a vasectomy? How is Sol feeling, or thinking hearing this news?
The reason I asked my self these questions and entered into panic mode is because I knew what DS was; but I didn’t know what it meant for someone to have it. I didn’t know if there were health complications that came with that condition.
I assumed, when I heard the news that my son had DS, it was bad. I instantly regreted getting a vasectomy. Maybe Sol and I weren’t going to be happy with our child having DS and we would want another one. Not knowing that children with DS are actually the most amazing children.
Personally I believe if there was more children with DS the world would be a better place. I thought about how Sol would feel, because I didn’t want her to feel this was her fault. And actually this did happen. She did feel sad and guilty for him being born this way.
Fast forward to today, everyone knows the the diagnosis and what Sol and I have been through since he was born. It’s been quite a journey.
The Guilt Trip
Through it all, since day one, I never pointed a finger at Sol saying she’s the reason why our son has DS.
That was a big problem at the beginning and she broke down crying on me one day saying sorry. As I mentioned earlier she felt guilty and thought it was her fault. Given the facts that on her side of the family there is history of DS. I told her right away that it was not her fault. It didn’t matter that her side of the family had DS. I didn’t care and I was not going to point any fingers at nobody, specially not her.
I told her that I would love him and treat him the same as all of my children. I was not going to love or care of him any less. God knows why he sent us our angel with DS. That’s the end of it, no IFS or BUTS or any questions asked.
The Perfect Family
I’m blessed and thankful that he came to the right family. A family who will love him just the way he is. Honestly, with her and I being in the medical field and her having family with this condition; Rodrigo Jr. III could have not come to a better, loving, caring and understanding family.
I admit, at first I was scared because I never knew the details of DS. All the hospital visits and stays would terrify me. I would be scared to stay overnight with him, in the hospital. I would see him as a ticking time bomb. Like at any minute something could go wrong and I would freak out and not know what to do.
I used to think that he preferred mommy over me and preferred her arms when he would cry. I had to learn and tell my self that he is just as normal as me, as his sisters or as any other human being. DS is just a condition not a terminal illness. So there was no reason why I should be scared to be alone with him without mommy being present.
Little by little I started to find my way around his needs. Finding ways to calm him down when he would cry, be sleepy or in pain without telling Sol, “omg he’s crying take him I don’t know what to do.” I had to let go of the fact that he’s “special.” I started to see him and treat him like all my other children. When I let go of that fear, I enjoyed him like I had planned to when I wanted and prayed for a boy.
I saw him as a normal human, baby boy. Yes he has DS but he’s human first and fore most he’s my son. He will be what ever he wants to be. He will be treated equal like all of my children. I will love and protect him the way I love and protect the rest. I don’t need anybody to feel sorry for me or him because he was born this way.
Blessings Upon Blessings
At the end of the day God gave US the perfect angel. He is the strongest and toughest person I have ever met in my life and he is just a little under a year old. He was gone through so much in so little time and through it all he as showed how much of a warrior he is because he always has a SMILE for mommy and daddy!!!