Who am I?
Have you ever been so overwhelmed that you forgot who you were? Or, forgot to eat?
I couldn’t comprehend how busy and overwhelmed I was. This is common in mothers of multiple children. Mothers of one child can relate as well.
The only day my son and I got rest was the day he was born. I did a home birth to avoid being bothered by medical staff. Ironically, I spent a lot of time in the hospital with my son.
For the first weeks of his life we were in and out of therapy, hospitals, clinics and the house. I could not keep a sleeping schedule because of the different appointments he had. Sleep deprivation took a toll on us.
I was on maternity leave and I felt like I worked more than if I was at work.
Luckily, dad took two weeks off of work. Our idea was to spend time together and come up with a schedule for all our kids. Instead, I barely saw him, the appointments took over our lives.
My Daily Activities
Papito got admitted to the NICU for high bilirubin; the stay was extended because the IV that was inserted blocked the blood flow to his hand. Fortunately, before discharged his bilirubin was controlled and his hand was back to normal.
I would wake up at 7am take him to speech therapy. At 2pm he had a weight check appointment. At 5pm he had physical therapy. In between I would make the girls breakfast. Put Camilla to sleep and clean the house. Wash the babies bottles and hopefully have time to cook. This was my routine for the 6 weeks I was off of work.
A Little Too Much To Handle
How could I even have time to THINK. I was not in a good place. My worries took over the joy of my sons first weeks of life. Not to mention, my maternity leave was shorten due to an unexpected turn of events.
I honestly did not know who I was, what I had eaten last or how I would get off from bed the next day.
Wait.. Reset.. Go!
BUT I did survive this “routine.” I stopped thinking I was Superwoman and starting becoming a mom. A lot of moms feel the need to be on top of everything not realizing it is impossible to do. I handed over a couple of tasks to my hubby and started asking for more help.
The joy of watching my children grow was slipping away. I decided to hit the reset button. Being a mother should not be a burden. It should not be overwhelming. It should be as joyful as the day they were born and as beautiful as they are.
It is ok to ask for help. It is ok to let dad take on the duties that to us mothers seem as motherly duties, which is everything. It is ok to say, “I can’t do EVERYTHING!”
So, Who Am I?
I am a mother of three wonderful children. I am only human and I am capable of doing only so much in a day. I am able to ask for help when needed and I can hand over some tasks for dad to do. There is no one I am trying to impress. My children love me more when I am calm and so do I.
I am not a superwoman I am a MOM!